Happy New Year, Friends! It’s been a doozy so far. Last year at this time, my head was firmly embedded in the sand. I was trying to bury my dread. Now, the future we feared is reality and we are all doing our best to be engaged citizens while continuing to read, think, and create.
To keep my spirits up, I started a new writing project. This is willed optimism; it’s distraction; it’s how I keep my equilibrium. At the same time, I was reminded of how much first drafts are not my happy place!
Many writers love the freedom that comes with the blank page. Anything can fly into the void—colorful birds! Rainbows! Dragons! There’s the opportunity for play and experimentation. Characters can be nine feet tall and the sky purple. The plot doesn’t have to make sense. There doesn’t even have to be a plot.
It turns out that all this uncertainty makes me terribly anxious. I am a writer who likes to know where I’m going. Well, you might reasonably suggest, why not first build an outline to follow? How I wish I could! I have tried outlining, many times, with only inert results. Seeing my ideas put so baldly, removed from the soft context of paragraphs, makes me hate my project before I’ve written a single page of prose.
And so I am doomed to be a “pantser” rather than a planner. The best I can do is white-knuckle it through a first draft, granting myself as much grace as possible as I try to achieve lift off and keep the plane above ground for three hundred pages.
While I relished the luxury of being able to write the first draft of SURRENDER at the isolated Maine cabin and the remote Texas ranch, a thrum of anxiety accompanied me during those days. Where is this book going? How can I keep the stakes high? What even are the stakes? Not until I had completed a first draft and had written a beginning, middle, and end could I relax.
My messy chronology for revising the first half of SURRENDER
Then I could embrace my love of editing and think critically about the structure of the book, missing moments, underdeveloped characters, hastily composed scenes. One of my grad school teachers, Alice Mattison, used to say that most of what she did in revision was change scenes to summary and summary to scenes. That’s the kind of work I like best: when I know what I’m trying to do or say and can concentrate on doing it better.
SURRENDER went through several rounds of revision. For many of those drafts my goal was to pick up the pace, tighten the action. Early feedback suggested the book moved at a rather stately speed, and I wanted readers to feel an undertow. So I cut a lot, moved chunks of backstory to later in the narrative (rather than loading it into the beginning), and made sure that each chapter contained a pivotal moment—that it served the central story in some way.
During this time, because I was between agents, I relied heavily on friends. I called in all my favors, promising to read their next drafts, and relished the thoughtful feedback they provided: to streamline the opening, to further develop the character of Michael, to make Lucy more reflective about her passion for Sandy. I was reminded once again of the importance of a writing community and that writer friends are first and foremost readers perfectly equipped to tell you where they’re bored, confused, or underwhelmed.
I don’t tend to make New Year’s resolutions, but I would like to extend a big thank you at the start of 2026—to the friends and family who supported me during the writing and revising of SURRENDER. I couldn’t have done it without you.
The smile of pure relief—it’s done!! Photo thanks to Ada Tseng.
I also want to thank Literary Hub for naming SURRENDER one of their “Most Anticipated Books of 2026”! (Scroll through the April section to read their blurb, and take notes on what else you should read this year.)
Thank you for reading and joining me on this journey. Next month I should have tour dates and locations—stay tuned!
Yours,
Jen
@jen_acker
PS: Don’t forget to pre-order from Bookshop or Amazon so you can receive SURRENDER on April 14, publication day!